


Practical Joke

by conceptofzero



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-16
Updated: 2011-10-16
Packaged: 2017-10-24 16:10:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/265421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/conceptofzero/pseuds/conceptofzero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When faced with the prospect of finding your soulmate and discovering that he's only a little higher than your knee, most people would give into some sort of despair, or at least lament on how life has done them wrong. But it never occurs to Cans that he should be frustrated. After all, he's spent his life never belonging, always being the odd man out and the fellow who people stare at like he's about to do something awful to them (and then staring even more when he opens his mouth and proves that he's actually got a brilliant mind inside the body of a mindless goon). So falling for Clover isn't something worth despairing; it's something worth celebrating. Finally, someone else who understands.</p><p>Well. Usually understands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Practical Joke

When faced with the prospect of finding your soulmate and discovering that he's only a little higher than your knee, most people would give into some sort of despair, or at least lament on how life has done them wrong. But it never occurs to Cans that he should be frustrated. After all, he's spent his life never belonging, always being the odd man out and the fellow who people stare at like he's about to do something awful to them (and then staring even more when he opens his mouth and proves that he's actually got a brilliant mind inside the body of a mindless goon). So falling for Clover isn't something worth despairing; it's something worth celebrating. Finally, someone else who understands. Well. Usually understands.

"You're being a real big baby about this!" Clover yells and Cans refuses to look at him, pointedly keeping his face buried in his book, "It was just a joke! And it was a funny joke!"

It wasn't a funny joke. It was mean and petty, and Cans hates that side of Clover, and he especially hates it when Clover does it to Cans. He knows that Cans won't hit him, not like how he'll hit the others when they're being assholes, and so the only thing Cans can do is give Clover the cold-shoulder treatment.

Which is exactly what he's doing at the moment. He's not even really reading the book, just scanning the same line over and over again while Clover tries to justify his prank. Sometimes Cans lets it slide, but not this time.

"Why can't you just laugh it off?" Clover climbs up onto Cans' bed, grabbing onto his jacket and tugging on it, "It was funny! It's not like you've got anything to be ashamed of!"

Cans hunkers his shoulders further down. There was a time, before he'd hit puberty and sprouted into a brick wall, when Cans had been nearly the size as Clover. And he'd found himself on the receiving end of a number of nasty pranks. They'd only died down once people realized that Cans was big enough to smash them through a wall if they didn't leave him alone. Cans had grown big enough to escape tormentors, but he had never become okay with mean-spirited pranks.

And he was especially not okay with Clover stealing Cans' clothes and towels while he was in the shower, and then screaming FIRE! downstairs while Cans was just trying to get to his room to grab something to wear. He was pretty sure the only person who hadn't seen him naked now was Doze, and only because by the time Doze got out of his room, it was all over.

"Cans, come on, don't do this," Clover tries to scramble into Cans' lap, but Cans turns away from him, doing his best to keep Clover from getting in. For a moment, he thinks maybe Clover's going to climb up his back, but Clover lets go of Cans' arms. He doesn't go anywhere, and Cans doesn't look at Clover, face buried in his book, "… … I'm sorry."

"No you aren't," Cans turns the page, not because he's done, but because he needs to do something with his hands.

"Yes I am! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you this upset! I just…" Clover goes quiet and Cans fights the urge to turn around and look at him, "I thought it would be funny and we'd laugh about it… I didn't realize you were going to be angry."

"I don't see how I'm supposed to find being naked in front of everyone funny," Cans says, even though he's supposed to be giving him the cold shoulder, "It's not funny at all. It's embarrassing, and I don't like being embarrassed and you know that!"

His voice gets a bit loud near the end and he drops his book, not able to pretend he's not talking to Clover anymore. He waits for Clover to start into him, and to call him names or something. But Clover doesn't. He presses his hands against Cans' back, "I… I didn't think you'd be embarrassed. You don't even have anything to be embarrassed about. You're a big guy, with a big dick. If I were you, I'd be proud!"

"My body isn't why I'm embarrassed," Cans turns around to look at Clover, to try make him understand, "It's going to be different now. Before when they'd make jokes, they were just shots in the dark. But now... now everybody's seen me, and they know exactly what I look like naked. And when Itchy makes a nasty joke about how we have sex, it's not going to be a shot in the dark. That's not funny to me, that's embarrassing."

Clover's face breaks a little, and this time when he crawls under Cans' arms and into his lap, Cans doesn't stop him. He hugs Cans as best he can, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to be like that."

Cans should stay mad at Clover. But he's never really been good at being mad with the people he loves. He rests one hand on Clover, hugging him back, "I don't like it when you're mean to me. And I don't want to date someone who thinks that sort of thing is funny."

The fear that floods into Clover's eyes makes Cans feel awful, especially as Clover tightens his grip in Cans' shirt, "I don't want to break up! I'm sorry! Cans, you know I love you!"

"I'm not breaking up with you. I love you too, it's just..." For a man who's always had words come easily to him, there's something about Clover that sometimes makes it hard. There are little scraps of poetry in Cans' desk, his attempts at really saying how he feels, but he hasn't shown any of them to Clover. He's pretty sure Clover might laugh, and that would hurt worse than anything, "If you love me, then treat me like you love me."

Clover climbs up Cans' shirt, getting his arms mostly wrapped around Cans' thick neck. Cans gets a hand under Clover to support him, "I'll do better in the future," Clover assures him, and kisses Cans on the mouth. For how much of a jerk he can be, his kisses are always sweet, and Cans feels mostly better. He's still a little upset, but it's fading pretty fast. Clover rests his head against Cans cheek, "Let me make it up to you!"

Before Cans can say anything, Clover squirms down and settles himself in Cans' lap. It becomes obvious what he's doing as he begins to rub against Can's groin. Cans frowns, "Clover-"

"I've been a real ass, but I want to make it better," Clover keeps rocking back and forth in Cans' lap. It's not fair how easy Clover gets through Cans' defences, or how he always seems to know exactly what to do to make Cans less angry with him. Cans tries to hold onto it, reaching down and picking Clover up, "Cans!"

"I don't want you to do this because we've been fighting," Cans tries to explain why it's bothering him, "Clover, when we have sex, it's because it means something to me, not because you feel bad about fighting."

"Can't it be both?" Clover jokes but when Cans frowns again, Clover reaches out and holds onto his face, "Cans! It means something to me too! It means a lot to me! I don't like seeing you unhappy! And I really am sorry, I'm super sorry, I didn't mean to make you so embarrassed! But now I want to make you feel better!"

"I don't need sex to make me feel better. I just need you," Cans tells him, and Clover hugs him tightly. He rests his hand on Cans' back, giving him a gentle squeeze, "Okay?"

"Well... okay," Clover rests his head against Cans' cheek, "I won't have sex with you because I want to make it up to you."

"Thank you," Cans kisses Clover's forehead and sets him down. But when he does, Clover settles himself in Cans' lap and begins to rub his bottom against Cans again, "Clover-"

"I'm doing this because I love you, not 'cause I'm apologizing," Clover's quick to say, and he giggles softly as he grinds down against Cans' shaft, "Ooooh, I can feel you."

Cans bites his lip, not certain if he should so anything. On one hand, part of him is pretty certain Clover's doing this because they just had a fight. But... on the other hand, isn't this what regular couples do?

Well. Maybe not exactly what regular couples do.

"Stop thinking so hard, you big palooka." Clover says, reaching out and unbuckling his pants. He goes slow, putting on a show for Cans as he gets the buttons undone, "You just sit back and let me take care of you, like I should have been."

Cans has to bite back a gasp when Clover's soft, warm hands slip into his open pants and begin to stroke Cans' shaft, "Clover..."

"Mmm look at you," Clover bats his eyes at Cans, "Why don't you get a little more comfortable, and a lot less dressed? I really want to see all of you."

Clover singsongs this last bit, and even though it shouldn't, it makes Cans blush a little. It only gets deeper as he takes his jacket off and Clover wolf-whistles at him. At least he manages to keep quiet when Cans lifts his hips and they get his pants down to his knees. His cock is half-hard and straining upwards underneath Clover's legs. Clover slides back, lifting Cans' cock up and wrapping his arms around it, "A-ah, god, that's."

"Good?" Clover runs his tongue over the slit of Cans' cock and then smiles mischievously up at him as he groans, "You like it? Tell me that you like it."

"I do, I really like it," Cans says and Clover just giggles licking the top of Cans' cock again. They've done this enough times that Clover knows exactly what Cans likes, and how he likes it, but Clover still always asks. Cans is pretty sure Clover just likes hearing Cans admit it. Clover's hand begin to stroke along Cans' shaft, his mouth licks the head of Cans' cock like a popsicle.

Cans leans back against the wall and just watches Clover go. The size difference means there's a lot of things they can't do in bed, but it's not as if Cans was able to do them with many people at all. Clover may be small, but when it comes to this, it doesn't really matter. He's found a way around it, and he gives better blowjobs than most of the boyfriends Cans has had.

"Oooo, you like it," Clover singsongs, grinning happily up at Cans. He kisses the top of Cans' cock, and then slowly works his mouth over the head. Cans groans and grabs onto his sheets as Clover mouth just barely manages to fit it in. He knows that it's a little uncomfortable for Clover to have his mouth spread out so big, but Clover never seems to mind, and it feels so wonderful that Cans can't bare to think about asking him not to do it. Clover starts to suck on the head, drooling as he does.

"Oh god, Clover," Cans bites his upper lip as Clover does what he loves to best. His mouth can't move up and down that much, but he manages to do a little of that. Mostly though, he just sucks on Cans, his clever tongue working over the sensitive surface. Cans struggles to keep looking at Clover when he feels like his brain is just going to blank out and stop working. He gasps as Clover sucks especially hard, a bolt of pleasure rocketing through him, "Clover!"

Clover hums, and Cans digs his fingers in deeper, the vibrations going right to the core of him. The tongue swirls over the top of Cans head, and Clover's hands start stroking him faster. It's a lot to handle, and Cans tries to think of other things to keep from getting to turned on too fast. Clover pulls off to take a quick break, and he giggles, "You make the best faces! You should really see yourself sometime! You look like this-" And Clover rolls his eyes back, dropping his mouth open.

Cans' face flushes, but the look on Clover's face just turns him on even more, even if it's supposed to be silly. He unclenches one hand from the bedspread and touches Clover's face, "Yeah? What else do I look like?"

"Like this," And Clover screws his face up, dropping his voice, "Cloooover," giggling as soon as he finishes. Cans can't help it, he laughs a little too. The laughing quickly turns into a shocked moan as Clover starts stroking Cans even faster, "Oooh there you go again."

Cans brushes his thumb against Clover's cheek before setting his hand on the bed again. He's starting to breath heavily and he can feel the pressure building up deep inside of him. Clover's clever fingers feel so good, and they're moving just fast enough to keep forcing him closer to the edge, "I'm glad you like it."

"Mmhm," Clover slips his mouth over the head of Cans' cock again and starts sucking. Cans groans and just settles back again, all too content to let Clover handle everything. He's instantly rewarded when Clover steels himself and then actually manages to slide his mouth down just a little bit further, taking in Cans' whole head.

"Oh my god," Cans blurts out, the heat and pressure and wetness of Clover's mouth becoming entirely too much for Cans, "Clover, you've- ah! You've got to get off-"

But Clover slaps his hands away when they try to come near, rubbing his whole body against Cans' cock. The friction is perfect, and the wonderful warm mouth is perfect, and all Cans can do is try and hold off, but he's having no luck in that area. His face tightens up, just as the rest of his body does, and Cans comes, slamming his head back into the wall as he does.

Clover tries to swallow it all, but it's impossible, and he has to pull off after the first spurt. He keeps stroking Cans, giggling and ooo'ing like mad as Cans comes. He makes a mess out of Clover, coating him with cum, and making a mess out of his shirt too. Cans pants loudly, basking in the intense afterglow.

"Oooooh look at me, I'm such a mess!" Clover mock-horrors, even as his hips rub themselves against Cans' shaft, "Oh noooo! If they see me now, I'll be so embarrassed! This is what I get for being so bad!"

Cans manages a few tired chuckles, reaching out and wrapping a hand around Clover's back. He picks him up and with his other hand, he gets Clover's pants down. His cock is hard, and Cans pins it between Clover's belly and Cans' thumb, stroking him as gently as he can. Clover holds onto Cans' hand and thrusts up against the thumb.

Clover is such a mess, splattered in sticky white stuff and rutting against Cans' thumb, and yet, Cans feels his heart swell with love just looking at him. He rubs Clover's cock as gently as he can, not wanting to hurt or bruise him. Clover's loud, moaning and whining as he rocks against the soft flesh, "Cans, please-"

"I've got you," He assures Clover, tightening his hand around Clover's back. Cans strokes his thumb over Clover's shaft quicker, and Clover gets encouragingly louder. Clover's hips jerk forward steadily and his hands hold on tightly to Cans' wrist, eyes turned up to meet Cans. They're wide and dark, and Cans bites his lip, feeling another wave of lust just looking at Clover, still splattered with his cum.

He's never felt this way about anyone before. It's never been so easy to forgive anyone the way it's easy to forgive Clover, or so easy to love someone, no matter what they do. Cans is so aware of this the closer Clover gets to his orgasm, because every happy sound, ever straining face he makes just hits Cans harder, makes him want Clover even more. He wants to make Clover happy, no matter what the cost. And he would do anything to keep Clover safe, even if it meant killing for him. All of this flies through his head as he gets Clover off.

"Ah, Cans, please! A little more!" Clover's hangs tighten as he drives himself ever closer to orgasm. Cans simply holds tight to Clover, soaking in every last detail as the small man finally catches up and comes with a sweet, high-pitched cry, warm cum jetting over Cans' hand. Cans glances around the room, and tugs his handkerchief out of his jacket pocket, cleaning Clover and himself off as best as he can.

In the end, it's easier just to strip Clover out of his messy clothes and to leave them on the floor. They can wash them in the morning. He kicks off his pants too, though he doesn't bother to take his shirt off, a little too fuzzy to mess with his buttons. Cans brings Clover in close to his chest and cuddles him, pressing a soft kiss to the top of Clover's head, "I love you."

"I know," Clover says, and giggles when Cans frowns, "Ooooh fine! I love you too!"

The words make Cans smile. He'll never, ever get tired of hearing Clover say that. Cans kisses Clover again, holding him close to his chest, and they snuggle in close together as Cans softly says, "That's all I ever want from you."


End file.
